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13 Ways You’ll Break My Heart

August 18th, 2015 | 2 comments

There are endless ways we deny who we are, what we think and what we feel.

We don’t trust the sound or shape of our own stories, so we grasp for more exciting ones. Or, we don’t believe our own experience matters, so we reach for those expert opinions perched upon unnaturally high altars.

It’s good to know the facts, and to learn what you don’t yet know, but beyond that…. you can speak for yourself.

As a teacher and writer who wants to hone my original voice and help you do the same…. these are the things I have heard, out loud or between the lines, that leave me sunken and soul-trodden.

Here are 13 ways you’ll break my heart:

1. Say, “Tell me what you think and I’ll just write that.”

2. Say, “I don’t have a story. At least, not one that matters.”

3. Say, “I want to sound just like {insert currently on-trend goddess}, can you do that for me?”

4. Say, “I want to be unique. I want to be unique. I want to be unique. But not too out there.”

5. Say, “I dunno. What would you say?”

6. Say, “Just add some wanky feel good stuff, ya know.”

7. Say, “Between you and me, that’s what I believe. But I can’t say that, right?”

8. Say, “Give me your opinion. That’s what you want to hear right?”

9. Say, “I’ve got nothing important to say.”

10. Say, “If only I had something really wrong with me, maybe people would notice.”

11. Say, “Make it sound better. Make me sound better.”

12. Say, “I hate the sound of my own voice.”

13. Say something — anything — that simply isn’t true.

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2 people have commented
  1. Claire Baker says:

    Ahhhh aren’t we a funny bunch us humans; wanting to stand out, to show up, to shine our light… But just not “too bright”, right? I can totally imagine the fear of being seen and struggles with authenticity that your clients must wrangle their way through – with you as their witness and supportive cheerleader, no doubt. Your consistent “realness” Kate is the most wonderful example of HOW TO JUST BE YOU x

    • Kate Erlenbusch says:

      I think I struggle with this too. Thanks Claire… I’ve never thought of myself as “consistent” but can be consistently real… yes! Keep shining sister xx

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