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The Real Reasons Your New Year’s Resolutions Fail

January 1st, 2014 | 2 comments

Warning: this post contains unbridled enthusiasm and hope for 2014.

A New Day. A New Year. Conveniently accompanied by a new moon in Capricorn. Trust me. It’s an exciting time.

As you read this you’re either:

a) buzzing with ideas, goals + aspirations to electrify the coming months

b) relinquished new year’s resolutions altogether  or

c) nursing a mighty hangover

My money (+ my hope) is that you believe in setting intentions, wishes + goals. But if you’re feeling deflated or simply “over” it, it’s time to steer you in the direction of your dreams. For. Real.

So what’s the secret to making these dreams of yours come true? Looking at the real reasons why your good intentions are doomed to fail in the first place.

Here are the three reasons why resolutions fail (plus what to do about it). Practical tips are so much more delightful that doom and gloom, don’t ya think?

1) Your Resolutions Aren’t Really Yours.

Most new year’s resolutions are health-based. Which is fine, and all. It’s just that most people attach “should” to their resolution of “get fit” or “get healthy” or “lose weight.” We absorb what the culture values and we follow the crowd. We declare our intentions to “get fit” or “lose weight” without digging into what we really want to feel on a daily basis. Full disclosure: I’m the first to admit I want to look hot, but with minimal effort required. Unfortunately I know far too many personal trainers, health coaches and generally high-on-life peeps to knock the self-delusions outta me. Here’s the thing: “getting fit” doesn’t motivate me. I think of push-ups, pain and profuse perspiration. But when I focus on what I want of feel most in my life? Inspiration + devotion bloom.

I want to feel clear. I want to feel passion. I want to feel curious. I want to feel in communion with other people, the earth, and God.  Yes. I want to feel creation in every cell of my body.

Goodbye chore-based resolutions. Hello manifestation of my deepest desires.

Feeling “clear” may lead me to cleanse my body as I explore new ways of eating. Feeling passion may lead me to discover ways of moving my body that truly bring me joy.  Right now “No Lights. No Lycra” sounds like the movement I crave. As a mum of two young boys I don’t find myself at nightclubs as much as I’d like to. I’m not a fan of traditional gyms. But  I LOVE to dance my arse off. In the dark. Wearing whatever’s not in the wash. Bring. It. On.

If you haven’t yet discovered The Desire Map, I highly recommend it. It’s deceptively simple. The process is enlightening. Life-changing. Got your new year’s resolutions all lined up. Run them through the Desire Map process. You may discover that what you’re going after isn’t really aligned to who you are, or how you want to feel. At the least you’ll feel a whole lot sexier getting there. Danielle LaPorte’s writing is so poetically sumptuous you’ll want to gobble it up.

2) Your resolutions aren’t embedded into your yearly plan or diary.

Do you start January full of gusto + gumption, only to see your devotion fizzle out by March (or Jan 5th?)? You’re not alone. Even though you tell yourself you won’t lose steam, you won’t lose track. You will. Self-sabotage will rear her ugly head. You’ll be derailed by a shiny, new thing that may or may not get you where you want to go. You’ll procrastinate. You’ll get jealous of other people supposedly doing better than you + you’ll be tempted to give up. Please don’t. And I fully include myself in that plea.

Recently I discovered a true gem of a 2014 Companion. And the fact that it was created by two gorgeous Australian gals — makes it all the sweeter. Introducing Spirited, the co-collaboration of soul sisters Rachel McDonald + Tara Bliss. I love their spunk. I love their solutions to common saboteurs. And I’d love for you to check it out. Because it’s rad. They’re not paying me to promote it. Yet.

3) Your resolutions aren’t visible or accountable.

So where are your resolutions? Are they written down or simply in your head? I live according to a deep belief that words are magic. They literally create something out of nothing. Have you told anyone about your resolutions? Too shy or scared that you’ll fail. Good. Make it public. You don’t have to use social media to announce your goals for 2014. But that’s totally an option these days. Tell someone. Put in place a system that supports you.

Because the singular reason why your new year’s resolutions don’t work, is because you don’t put those supportive structures in place. You don’t put them at the centre of your life.

Stop paying them lip service. Make this year’s bunch of bold hopes + wild dreams come true.

With love,

Kate  xo

P.S The New Moon is at 10:30pm. This time is potent for articulating your goals + intentions. The time is now.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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2 people have commented
  1. Jasmine says:

    Love your words Kate 🙂 xo

  2. Amy says:

    So nice to get my Kate fix while so far away! Wise and comforting reminders for the new year xx

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